The Monroe Family

At 5:45 one morning our phone rang and the voice on the other end of the line said these exact words, “You don’t know who I am, but I’ve got a baby for you.”  He was correct – we had no idea at that moment who the caller was, but by the end of the following day we became the proud, if not somewhat ill-prepared, parents of our 19-day old son, Miles.  And having been touched by the miracle of adoption, we knew that our lives – and our family – would never be quite the same.

For most people “having a child” means becoming pregnant and after nine months giving birth.  Up until March 2000, we assumed that our journey toward parenthood would be much the same.  However, as we sat and listened to our infertility specialist explain our diagnosis and the limited alternatives, one alternative – adoption – immediately seemed to be the right choice for us.  Even though we were still struggling with the loss and grief associated with the realities of infertility, adoption seemed, and has proven to be, the path by which God would bless us with the gift of family.

Although we had talked, as apparently many couples do, about “adopting one day after we had children,” the truth was that we knew next to nothing about adoption – other than the usual horror stories and stereotypes.  We knew even less about how and where to begin the adoption process.  What do you read and believe; who do you trust; where do you turn?  Like many, we had far more questions than answers.

Shortly after we decided to pursue adoption a friend in our small group shared with us the promise of 1 Corinthians 2:9, where the Apostle Paul writes “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.”  We prayed this verse regularly as we made our way along the unfamiliar path of adoption, and this verse continues to beautifully capture the hope of our family’s adoption journey.

Not long after we decided to begin the process to adopt a second child we received a phone call about a baby boy who had just been born and whose birthmother had chosen to place him for adoption.  After waiting anxiously for twenty-four hours, we received word that she had chosen us to be his family and the next day we welcomed two-day old Grant into our hearts and lives.

A year later, as we considered how best to add to our family, we decided to pursue an international adoption from South Korea.  Although we had already adopted domestically twice before, international adoption proved to be a very different, yet equally adventurous, path.  After waiting (as patiently as we knew how) for nearly a year to receive a referral we got the call from our agency – but it was not what we expected.  They had a two week old little girl . . . and her twin brother . . . from Guatemala (not Korea), and our agency wanted to know if we would consider making them part of our family.  After long discussions and much prayer during the course of that night, the obvious answer for us was “Yes!”  And once again we were reminded that some of life’s greatest blessing arrive in ways we least expect.

Years later the stories of how Miles, Grant, Kate and Carter came to be part of our lives, and we part of theirs, seems no less amazing and miraculous.  Each of their adoption stories was marked with ups and downs, surprises and disappointments, blessings and joys.  But most of all, our adoption journey has been guided by the love and hope that only God can supply.

As a result of some of the painful and trying experiences that we encountered throughout our struggle with infertility and our adoption journey, we are acutely aware of and sensitive to the fact that a child is not a given, but a gift – a gift from God.  This reality was most vividly illustrated for us as Miles’ birthmother tearfully placed him in our arms.  So while at times we still have our share of questions and doubts, we cannot help but look into the eyes of our children and see in their faces that God is indeed good.  We have experienced first-hand that He is in the business of redeeming broken hearts and lives, and He has undoubtedly shown His goodness and grace in our lives through the miracle of adoption.

In addition, our adoption experiences have given us a wonderful new perspective concerning those who have received God’s saving grace through faith in Christ – we are all adopted!  Scripture repeatedly refers to those who have placed their faith in Christ as children of God.  We have been woven together by grace into the “tapestry” of His family.

In the end the journey we have traveled has truly been amazing – filled with twists and turns, loss and gain, frustration and unimaginable joy.  As a result, our family can be described in many ways – we are an adoptive family, a transracial family, a ‘unique’ family and, yes, even a big family.  But one word describes us best of all – we are blessed.

Read more from Michael at www.adoptivedads.org and www.empoweredtoconnect.org. Amy also regularly shares her thoughts on adoption in her column, A Mother’s Heart, on the Tapestry Blog.

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