Changes in tax laws can be confusing and lately there have been a number of temporary changes, extensions and new tax provisions coming out of Washington D.C.  How to handle adoption expenses and adoption credits is one of those areas that has been subject to a lot of change and uncertainty.

If you qualify, the 2011 federal adoption tax credit is $13,360 per child.  Here are some key facts about the current adoption tax credit.

First, you need to be adopting an eligible child defined as a child under the age of 18, even if the child turned 18 during the year of adoption, or a person who is physically or mentally unable to take care of himself or herself.

Second, the expenses that qualify for the credit include:

• Adoption fees
• Attorney fees
• Court costs
• Travels expense for trips away from home related to the adoption
• Re-adoption expenses related to adoption of a foreign child

Qualifying adoption expenses do not include:

• Any expense for which you received funds under a state, local or federal program or which were paid or reimbursed by your employer or any other person or organization (although you may be able to exclude adoption assistance payments from income)
• Expenses that violate a state or federal law
• Expenses for a surrogate parenting arrangement
• Expense for the adoption of your spouse’s child
• Expenses for which you were allowed a tax credit or tax deduction under any other provision of federal income tax laws

Also, for 2011 the adoption tax credit is refundable, meaning if the total credit is more than your total tax liability, you can receive a refund for the amount of the difference.  However, many taxpayers have been experiencing significant delays in terms of when they receive their refund.

There is an income limitation that may reduce or eliminate the amount of the adoption tax credit.  If your Modified Adjusted Gross Income (MAGI) is greater than $185,210 then the credit will be limited.  If MAGI exceeds $225,210 then you will not be eligible for the credit.  MAGI is equal to your Adjusted Gross Income (Line 38 on your 1040 tax return) plus any income that is excluded from U.S. tax because you have foreign earned income or earned income from U.S. possessions such as Puerto Rico or American Samoa.

Generally domestic adoptions receive slightly more favorable tax treatment in the following areas:

• You can take the credit for domestic adoptions in the year after you incur the expenses even if the adoption is not finalized.
• You can also exclude up to $13,360 of adoption assistance and still take a credit for up to another $13,360 of additional adoption expenses if you are adopting a US child with special needs.

In addition, for U.S. adoptions you can take the credit even if the adoption never became final. However, for international adoptions, you are not eligible to take the credit until the adoption becomes final.

Finally if you qualify based on all this information, you will need to complete Form 8839 to document your expenses and include this with your individual 1040 tax return.  The instructions for Form 8839 will also provide a list of additional documents you will be required to provide to support your claim for the adoption credit.  Both the form and instructions are available on the IRS website at irs.gov.

The federal adoption tax credit represents a significant source of financial assistance for a large number of adoptive families, but unfortunately it is also one for which there is a great deal of uncertainty.  The current adoption tax credit has not been extended beyond December 31, 2011.  As a result, unless further changes are made to the law the 2012 credit will drop to $12,650 and be non-refundable (as compared to the current credit which is refundable).  Additionally, the credit is scheduled to be further reduced to $6,000 in 2013, and will only apply to adoption of special needs children. 

If you qualify there is still time to take advantage of the more generous adoption tax credit on your 2011 tax return.  Be sure to consult a qualified tax specialist to help you take fully advantage of this great source of financial assistance.

Wray Rives is a Certified Public Accountant and Chartered Global Management Accountant with a public accounting practice in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.  Wray and his wife Julie attend Irving Bible Churchand have been foster parents for over 20 years.  You can contact Wray at www.RivesCPA.co or wray@rivescpa.co.

As Katie began adding children to her family she wrestled with many adoption issues. She talks about building a relationship, so she could move from caregiver to Mom. She talks of wrestling with the hurt her children experienced and grieving for their loss. She talks about how each child’s “pain and trauma manifested in different ways and through different behaviors,” and she never questions whether she made the right choice. She also doesn’t say that it’s easy.

“I knew that one of God’s purposes in placing me here was to grow in me, through my children, this heart for adoption. In an effort to be real, I will tell you: It was hard…Adoption is wonderful and beautiful and the greatest blessing I have ever experienced. Adoption is also difficult and painful. Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. It is the Gospel in my living room. And sometimes, it’s just hard…It’s hard to have your mom be a different color than you because inevitably people are going to ask you why…It’s hard when you have to make up your birthday. It’s hard when you can’t understand the concept of being a forever family yet, because your first family wasn’t forever.”

I don’t want to give away everything Katie says because she allows herself to be transparent and tell a beautiful story, her story. The way she talks about mistakes, struggles, and questions makes you forget she started this journey at 19. Much of Katie’s story is not adoption related, but as she works through different adoption related issues in her life, she’s not afraid to share the good and the bad, the triumphs and heartbreaks.

I’ll admit that I did do a general purging of my house after I finished reading her book. I mean you can’t read these sentences and not feel a little conviction, “I put value in things. These children, having no things, put value in God.” But don’t be scared to read the book for fear of being called to Uganda; read her book because she tells a story of God is working in her life, her children’s lives, and those around her.

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

On a daily basis we hear, “Nobody likes me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares for me.” It’s exhausting to always offer the positive, “I like you. I love you. I care about you,” but we know from experience that arguing does not work. Logically explaining how everything we do everyday shows how much we love her, like her, and care for her gets us nowhere. I think she is seeking affirmation, and so though I want to scream, “Enough, that’s not true!” several times a day we say, “I love you. I like you. I care about you.”

Other times, she talks about when she was Vietnam and how she missed us while she was there. Then she used to weep after talking about Vietnam, but for the most part that has subsided. Now, when she is sad, she asks, “Mom, I’m sad so will you sing the Vietnam song to me?”: “Little, little, little Elise. You are such a precious baby. You are loved by your mommy and daddy. We went to Vietnam to get you sweet baby. Little, little, little Elise. You are such a precious baby.” Then at bedtime the routine question is, “But when I wake up will you still be here?” I say, “Yes,” and off she goes to bed. We do this every night.

Much of this started after the arrival of her little sister when we stayed 3 nights in the hospital. This apparently rocked her little world more than we could ever imagine. And we tried to support her through this transition as best as we could, but it feels like we’ve lost some of her trust. I keep wondering what all she’s trying to process and when our affirmations and assurances will be enough, but it hasn’t happened yet. Though I don’t know for sure what’s behind it, we will keep saying, “I love you. I like you. I care about you,” for as long as it takes for her to feel secure. We have to; it’s what she needs.

My husband wrote his thoughts in the post “Time, Love, and Family.”

First, the ‘early bird’ registration discount for the Denver Empowered To Connect Conference on April 20-21, ends tomorrow (February 15).  You can find out more details about this fantastic two-day conference featuring Dr. Karyn Purvis at www.etcconference.org.  Be sure to register by tomorrow to take advantage of the ‘early bird’ pricing — and for a limited time you can enter the discount code “FOCUS” and receive an additional 50% off.  (If you simply can’t wait until April to hear Dr. Purvis, it’s still not too late to join us for the Dallas ETC Conference this Friday and Saturday, February 17-18.  Simply visit www.etcconference.org to register at the regular price.)  We’re sorry, but childcare is not provided for either conference.

Second, once again this year adoptive and foster families from across the country will be traveling to Adoptive & Foster Family Camp at Horn Creek in Colorado, August 5-11, 2012.  This camp is tons of fun for the entire family, and also has a few special extras designed especially for adoptive and foster families.

For details about the cost of this camp and to register online, click here.  In addition, until February 15th Horn Creek is offering a 10% discount.  Simply go online to select your week of camp (Castle Peak Adoptive & Foster Family Camp – August 5-11) and pay the $50 per person deposit and your spot is reserved at the lowest price of the year. Be sure to request the “Rep Discount 2012″ when you reach the payment page.  On top of that, all adopted and foster children placed within the past year are able to attend free of charge.  Check out the Horn Creek website for more details.

We hope you can join us!

“Every good conversation starts with good listening.”

I came across this quote recently and it started me thinking.  What we adoptive and foster parents need, among other things, is to be engaged in some really good conversations.  Conversations that offer insight, wisdom, and hope.  Conversations that can inspire, educate, and guide us.  Even conversations that challenge and stretch us.  But to do so, we need to be willing to listen.  Even more than willing, we need to proactively seek out these voices and perspectives and in essence say to them, “Please share with us.  We’re listening.”

So where to turn for these kinds of conversations?  Who should we be listening to?  Immediately those who were adopted and/or spent time in foster care come to mind. 

We adoptive and foster parents can be a talkative bunch.  But I am convinced that if we want to truly love and serve our children well…if we want to be engaged in good conversations about what our kids need, how they might feel, and how we can really begin to understand and connect with them, then we need to “shut up” and start listening to those who, in many ways, understand our kids best because they have traveled a common path.  And of course this conversation is not just about us as parents; it’s about us as a community of people brought together and connected by a common bond, but lived from different perspectives. 

I am discovering that adoptees have a great deal to say, and we would all benefit from listening in.  So as we move forward we will use this space to do just that. 

One “voice” that has blessed and benefited our family (and many Tapestry families) over the years is Melanie Chung-Sherman.  Melanie was adopted from South Korea when she was young.  She is now a wife and mom, and has spent years serving children and families as an adoption professional.  She also writes regularly for Adoption Today, and in a recent issue she shared her thoughts on the often discussed issue of ‘naming.’  Melanie starts by asking, “How important is it for adoptive parents to integrate a child’s birth name into his or her legal name (adoptive name)? Why?”  She then offers her perspective about the interplay between a name and one’s identity.  These are clearly thoughts that all adoptive and foster parents would do well to ‘listen in’ on.

Read Melanie’s entire article here.

As my youngest crawls everywhere seamlessly transitioning from seasgrass rug to laminate flooring to carpet, a memory of Elise walking around the edge of the seagrass rug for several months comes to mind. As my youngest grabs Elise’s plush hand me down toys, it strikes me that Elise never played with that toy, but she did enjoy all things plastic. As my youngest, latches on to a lovey, a baby doll, or a stuffed purple monkey, I remember Elise not loving a stuffed animal until she was one. And since turning three in June, Elise now has many stuffed animals and a favorite blanket.

After many months, Elise learned to branch out from just plastic toys, and she stopped walking around the edge of our seagrass rug. Currently, she prefers cotton knit pants to jeans and will occasionally don a bathing suit in the winter, but that could just be three-year-old antics.

The way Elise coped with different textures is a part of sensory processing. Sensory processing is something adoptive parents should educate themselves about. Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about sensory processing in this video:

Relying heavily upon Dr. Purvis’ model and her book, The Connected Child, ETC Parent Training equips parents with a holistic understanding of their child’s needs and empowers them with the strategies and tools to effectively meet those needs while both building trust and helping their child heal and grow. The training is taught from a Christian perspective and focuses on a wide range of topics and issues, including helping parents understand the impacts of their child’s history, what they themselves bring to the parent-child dynamic, the fundamentals of attachment, the impact of fear, and the importance of meeting their child’s sensory processing, nutritional and other physiological needs. Ultimately, the ETC Parent Training integrates this holistic understanding with the insights and skills parents need to effectively and consistently use the TBRI principles and strategies and enables them to employ a balanced parenting approach that allows them to provide compassionate discipline that both connects and corrects.

Empowered To Connect Parent Training is taught in small groups that meet weekly for two hour sessions over the course of nine weeks, and is highly interactive. The in-class sessions are supplemented by weekly outside assignments, including reading and a variety of participatory exercises.

The next semester of ETC Parent Training starts on February 23, 2012, and will meet on Thursday nights from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at Irving Bible Church.  The cost for the training is $125 per family, which includes materials, required resources and childcare (ages 0 to 5th grade).  Married couples are required to attend together and singles are encouraged to attend with a support team member.  Class size will be limited. 

For more information about the Empowered To Connect Parent Training or to inquire about registering to attend the training this semester, contact Amy Monroe at tapestry@irvingbible.org.

Over the past two years dozens of adoptive and foster families have attended Horn Creek Family Camp together, and this year we hope to welcome even more families.

The camp (named Castle Peak Adoptive & Foster Family Camp) runs from August 5-11. You can find out all of the details on the Horn Creek website. This camp will consist of all the fun, relaxation and family time that Horn Creek’s family camps are known for — but it will also have a few special extras designed especially for adoptive and foster families. These extras will include a chance to hang out with a diverse group of families from all of the country as well as some focused discussion time on topics that are particularly relevant for adoptive and foster families.

Here is a quick glimpse at some of the fun we have at Horn Creek.

For details about the cost of this camp and to register online, click here.  Also, until February 15th Horn Creek is offering a 10% discount.  Simply go online to select your week of camp (Castle Peak Adoptive & Foster Family Camp – August 5-11) and pay the $50 per person deposit and your spot is reserved at the lowest price of the year. Be sure to request the “Rep Discount 2012″ when you reach the payment page.

We hope that you will consider joining us for a great time with your family and together with other families who have experienced the blessing and miracle of adoption!

Have questions about camp? Feel free to contact Amy Monroe at tapestry@irvingbible.org.

This is just an example of me trying to track down a logical explanation to something my daughter said. Sometimes she’s being dramatic, sometimes she’s avoiding clean up time, and sometimes there is an adoption related issue. Now, I don’t think every parent should overreact or overthink a situation like me, but if you do have questions about nutrition http://adoptionnutrition.org is a great resource. Tapestry blogged about the website in this blog post, “Focusing on Food and Nutrition.”

In my defense, iron deficiency is possible in children from Vietnam, but at the end of the day, I was just trying to grasp a reason as to why my daughter is so cranky and why she says there’s blood all over. I’m not sure I’ll ever know what she meant by that statement (or eradicate all her cranky attitudes), but at least she likes her new vitamins.

For more great resources from Empowered To Connect, be sure to sign-up for their email updates here.