As adoptive and foster parents begin to learn about and practice the approach and strategies taught by Dr. Karyn Purvis in her book The Connected Child, many of them encounter various concerns, questions and even doubts.  After all, for many this way of parenting is completely foreign.  So the questions are quite understandable.  Questions like “how does this work with multiple kids?”, “what about when I am in public?”, and “what will others in my family, church, or neighborhood think when they see me dealing with misbehavior in this way?” — just to name a few.

These are the questions that Colleen Derksen recently encountered as she faced having to respond to misbehavior from one of her preschool-aged children – at church no less.  Colleen and Brian live in Calgary and are part of a growing community of adoptive and foster parents who are seeking to understand and then live out an approach to parenting that both connects and corrects.  They desire to reflect the grace and love of God to their children.  But they know that’s not always easy.  Here’s how Colleen described the dilemma she faced in dealing with her son’s misbehavior:  “I found myself at a fork in the road: follow my instincts and deal with the guilt and regret I’d feel for taking my embarrassment out on my kids, or do the right thing and forget about what other people might be thinking and walk the kids through a re-do?”

Read Colleen’s entire story – you’ll be encouraged to know that you are not alone (other parents have the same questions and challenges you do) and that this approach and these strategies actually do work in the real world.  Colleen and Brian are discovering a little more each day that in God’s strength they can love and discipline their children in a way that reflects the love of Christ and leads them to deeper connection with Him and with them. 

For more resources to help you better understand and practice this approach to parenting, check out Empowered To Connect.

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Also Found In: Challenges & Issues, Discipline, Resources for Families, Stories, Tapestry Blog