Still Grateful to Share My Mother’s Day

By: - May 11, 2012

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I wrote the thoughts below last Mother’s Day.  As I celebrate this year the gift of being a mother to the four children I love so dearly, I will once again remember that they are each loved by other mothers too.  But more importantly, I will remember that we have been adopted by a Heavenly Father whose redeeming love has taken the broken pieces of our lives and fashioned them into something beautiful for His glory.

Tears flowed down my face today as I sat in church listening to our pastor read the most sincere and sensitive prayer I’ve ever heard offered on Mother’s Day. He started his prayer with thanksgiving to God for welcoming us into His family through adoption by the miracle of grace. He then continued by praying  for all mothers, specifically mentioning adoptive moms, those whose heart longs to become a mother but are experiencing infertility and those who don’t know their biological mothers. 

As I sat between my two oldest sons, each holding my hands, I couldn’t help but think about the mothers who gave them life and changed ours forever. These women, whom we hardly know, have never been more real and more close to my heart than they were today as I thought about their love, courage and selflessness. I wondered if they were thinking of their boys today. I wondered if their tears flowed and if their hearts ached. And I wondered if I might ever be able to fully express the depth of my love and gratitude for them, at least this side of heaven.

As the pastor prayed and as we continued to worship, I spent a few moments lifting each of them up in prayer. I prayed that our God of all comfort would continue to heal their hearts and give them a peace that assured them their children are deeply loved, and so are they.

For some adoptive moms it isn’t easy “sharing” Mother’s Day with our children’s birthmothers. But far from taking away from my role as my children’s mother, including their birthmothers in my thoughts and prayers on this special day somehow makes it and me more complete. I am my children’s mother and I forever will be. But as I was reminded recently by my six-year-old daughter, I am not the only mother they have.  If they have room in their hearts for more than one mother then so must I.  

I may not be my children’s only mother but I am the only one they can hug, give a homemade card to and say “I love you” to on this special day. So I will choose on this day (and in the days that follow) to pray and even let me heart ache a little for their other mothers. I am grateful for the gift I have been given — the privilege of loving and caring for the children God has blessed me with. My gain could not exist but for the loss that is always a part of adoption. So while this special day is about me, it is not “all” about me. I share it with a grateful heart with the women who allowed me to celebrate this special day with the children that we love.

Here is the prayer that Pastor Andy McQuitty prayed at Irving Bible Church on Mother’s Day 2011:

“Gracious God,

We thank you for adopting us into your family through the miracle of your grace, and for calling us to be brothers and sisters to each other.

Today, loving God, we pray for our mothers:

  • who cared for us when we were helpless
  • who comforted us when we were hurt
  • whose love and care we often took for granted.

Today we pray for:

  • those who are grieving the loss of their mother,
  • those who never knew their biological mother, and now yearn for her
  • those who have experienced the wonder of an adopted mother’s love
  • those who long to be mothers but are struggling with infertility or waiting on adoption,
  • and the families separated by war or conflict.
  • Lord, comfort them and give them peace and hope.

Keep us united with you and with each other, so that we can be and become all that we are meant to be. Amen.”

This story appeared in the May 2012 issue of Adoption TodayClick here to view the pdf version.

Also Found In: A Mother's Heart, Motivations & Expectations, Stories, Tapestry Blog

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