When telling the story of your family’s adoption/foster care journey it is important to remember that it is your child’s story too. You are the guardian of this precious treasure, and while parts of their story should not be considered a “secret,” they are private.
It is critical that you think through the facts and decide ahead of time what you are and are not willing to share with others. This will help you to avoid being “caught off guard” when the questions come – and it is inevitable that the questions will come.
When someone asks a question that relates to information you have decided not to share you can always respond by saying, “that is a part of their story that we don’t share with others because we want them to know that information first from us and then they can decide whether or not they wants to share it.”
This sort of response may seem a little awkward at first, but this feeling is far outweighed by the knowledge that you have been faithful in your role as protector of your child’s story. In addition, protecting your child and their story in this manner will ensure that your child does not first hear sensitive information about their story from someone other than you.
Here are a few key things to remember when telling your child’s story:
It is important to remember this basic premise and use it as a good rule of thumb when deciding what to share and with whom: you only want to share information about your child’s story with others if you are comfortable with the fact that your child may hear that information from someone else before they hear it from you.