At three-and-a-half, my daughter has decided it’s time to wrestle with the big questions of life. And I don’t mean, “Plain milk or chocolate milk?” Rather, she’s trying to get her head around two important concepts: time and love.

When you’re a kid, time can be torturously abstract. Fifteen minutes? How far away is that exactly? Sometimes it might as well be as distant as Christmas. And if 15 minutes can seem like an eternity, how long is eternity by comparison? More on that later.

Love can be a little more concrete for kids because they seem to experience it with varying degrees of intensity in every gift, meal, and activity. I love this! I love that! I love you! In actuality, I think this is how we all grow up to define love as enjoyment when really our definition should be much more lasting than temporary. And there’s that concept of time again.

As my daughter processes ideas like time and love, and as we traverse the rhythmic suburban chaos of our daily lives, she offers us this question now and then:

Mom and Dad, will you love me forever?

(There’s also its angry, declarative counterpart: You don’t love me anymore!)

What she doesn’t understand yet is that love — our love — is more than mere enjoyment. What she doesn’t understand yet is that forever means beyond this Christmas and the next and the next.

Our job, then, is to teach her what it means to be a part of what Tapestry and others call a “forever family.” Our job is to weave her adoption story into the broader narrative of our family and the even grander narrative of God’s family. Our job is to be loving as she comes to grips with love, to be patient as she comes to grips with time.

Our hope is that our daughter will one day understand her place in a love that transcends behaviors, circumstances, and passing fancies. We hope one day her questions will be replaced by the security that comes from knowing she belongs to a forever family. Of course, there’s no hurry. Until that day comes, we’re prepared (as best as we can be) to give her plenty of time and plenty of love.

 

Also Found In: Tapestry Blog