One of the ways that trauma impacts our kids is that it alters their belief systems. An altered belief system can tell our kids that they are not deserving of love. An altered belief system can tell our kids that they are not good enough. Many of the negative behaviors that our kids exhibit are as a result of their beliefs
Parents can have altered belief systems too. Our altered belief systems are the result of our own histories. We, just like our kids, come with experiences that influence how we interact with other people. And when it comes to parenting, those experiences that caused us to doubt ourselves are some of the worst. They are some of the worst because they are the first voice we listen to when we are struggling or stuck as parents.
We hear that voice say “you’re not good enough” when we are still dealing with the same behaviors years down the road. We hear that voice say “You can’t do this” when we have a bad day and mess up. And our histories can cause those voices to become louder and louder.
But parenting isn’t about behaviors as much as it is about relationship and trust. Those nagging doubts cause us to assume an incorrect definition of parenting success. The voice that says “You’re not good enough” defines parenting success as the absence of challenges, but success can’t be defined by the absence of challenges. Success for a parent has to be defined by the relationship being built in the midst of the challenges.
We need to remember that doubt is not from the Lord. He calls to be confident and bold. He has shown us a better way. We need to block those voices of doubt and rest in his power. We can be very bold.
Lord, too often I listen to those nagging voices of doubt. Too often I believe that I am not good enough. I want to be confident and bold. I want to rest in your mighty power. I want to be a parent who wants what’s best for their kids. I want hope and healing to be a part of our story as a family. Help me remember that doubt is not from you.
In Jesus name, Amen
“Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold” – 2 Corinthians 3:12 (NLT)
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright© 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.